Bermy: it's not for everyone

As everyone we saw while we were back in the UK will already know, Bruce is somewhat more fond of island life than I am. Apparently he shocked one of his colleagues by saying that his favourite thing about living in Bermuda was that he gets to spend more time with his wife... so although I am not allowed to come home anytime soon, I guess that's nice.

Rubbish things about Bermuda

• The weather - sweaty faces is not an attractive look
• It's TINY
• There's an awful lot of golf courses for people that don't like golf (me)
• Ants
• Cockroaches
• Spiders (everywhere at the moment - our house looks like we've started decorating for Halloween already)
• Skinks
• A lot of tourists
• No Starbucks/Costa/Caffe Nero
• Our phones think we are in Bogota
• $10 strawberries (a new record!)
• Cats (well, one in particular) are getting chubby in the hot weather
• No snow - in fact, basically no cold weather whatsoever. Currently it is 25C in my lounge and that's chilly... cardigan weather!

Amazing things about Bermuda

• It's a whole lot prettier than the UK
• We get the ferry to work
• They play "Proud to be Bermudian" in arrivals at the airport
• X Factor came here to film a judge's house episode
• Michael Douglas is basically our neighbour (well... down the road at least!)
• Delicious local lobster
• The pool
• Our lovely new car - we've called it Bucky (short for Starbucks as the color is "Caffe Mocha")
• Bruce is getting his BA gold card next week - first class lounges here we come!
• Less than 2 hours to New York
• We've been here for seven months and we've only just had to order gas
• And, ummmm. no tax...  

The end of one "lobster" season in Bermuda... and the start of another...

Yesterday was the last Harbour Nights of 2014, which is when the shops in town stay open late, there are craft stalls all along Front Street and the Gombeys perform as well. It's quite good fun, but really aimed at tourists - watching tourists ride their bikes (motor) along when the road is shut to traffic is also quite entertaining.

Anyway, as one "lobster" season draws to a close, the Bermuda lobster season has just begun. Catching, cooking or eating local spiny lobster is banned from 1 April - 31 August each year to protect them from overfishing. At the end of March, the Lobster Pot restaurant in town was packed with people eating the last Bermuda lobster for five months. Obviously, you can still get Maine lobster which has been shipped in even when its not lobster season.

Even in season, the rules on lobster fishing are very strict - you can only catch them in certain places and only using certain methods (with a noose). It's illegal to fish for lobster using scuba equipment so you have to free dive and you are not allowed to use a spear either and if they are carrying eggs you have to put them back. With a personal lobster licence you can catch up to two lobster per person per day only. You're also not allowed to kill them out at sea because the authorities might want to check them - and there's a fine of up to $50,000 if you break the rules apparently!

Note: a "lobster" is a local derogatory term for a tourist, but not because of the sunburn... it's because "all de meat is in de tail". Perhaps a bit harsh given that obesity is as big a problem here as it is in the US.

Keeping it real at Alinea

While we were in Chicago last week (amazing city - go now!), we went to Alinea for dinner. Bruce was almost as excited about this as he was about Eleven Madison Park, but about halfway through the meal he agreed with me that it was better than Eleven Madison Park (although I don't think he has had a dream about any of the Alinea staff yet!).

The food was as delicious as Eleven Madison Park, but much more inventive. I was a bit worried it was going to be completely bizarre from start to finish when the second course was salsify with branch camouflage - basically a big wreath of branches with two pieces of salsify twisted around it that you had to find. And the salsify was dehydrated and made to look like branch too. Most of the other courses had slightly less bulky decoration.

The mini camp fire that arrived with the take out course was actually our beef for the following course - they wrap the wagyu in seaweed and then it stays perfectly cooked but picking up a bit of the smoky flavour from the fire.

A particular highlight was the green apple balloon that you had to suck the helium out of and then eat - totally ridiculous, but very entertaining. The guy on the table next to me took a photo of me eating mine, which was rather awkward (Bruce didn't notice because he was too busy getting balloon off his face), but he was also highly entertaining because he kept falling asleep during dinner.

The other ridiculous course was the final dessert course - they cover the table with a special tablecloth and one of the chefs comes out of the kitchen and prepares your dessert on the table... which was huge! We are pretty sure that Bruce managed to dip his sleeve in some of the violet syrup.

Basically, there are only two things wrong with Alinea:

1. They don't have a full bar so you can't have a cocktail.
2. It's not in Bermuda.

 
It should absolutely be rated higher than 9 on the San Pellegrino list - I mean DINNER is at number five, and I've yet to meet anyone that seriously rates that (and meat fruit is so 2011).

Yes, that is the chef giving me a thumbs up while I try not to spit out the sea urchin that I didn't know was on my plate: fun times at Rogue 24

From walking down a deserted alley to the restaurant, some yummy courses and some not so yummy courses (and what felt like quite a lot of wine), our meal at Rogue 24 was pretty good. Surprisingly for Bruce, it wasn't even his favourite meal in DC though - we both loved our meal at Blue Duck Tavern, but that's partly to do with the fact that they had Honig on the wine list... my favourite wine ever and you never see it in the UK.

Some highlights and lowlights from Rogue 24:

• The head chef is actually there - in fact he was within about 5m of me for most of our meal!
• He also brings you food, comments on your accent and will give you a thumbs up mid-meal.
• At one point, he actually joined another table for about half an hour. One of the girls on that table left the restaurant with the Rogue 24 symbol drawn on her arm in pen. Perhaps he knew them already?! This guy is meant to be really shy!
• A wine pairing is pretty much compulsory - but I usually end up at least a glass behind because I drink too slowly... so it's a constant game of catch up. Bruce did not have this issue.
• The chef appears to be a little spume obsessed... but then with a 24 course menu, you probably do have to repeat some techniques. Or maybe he just loves spume.
• The restaurant was quite noisy (because we are hip and cool so we go to that type of place), so we couldn't always hear the description of what we were about to eat - this led to the sea urchin incident.... I thought it was sturgeon! If the chef hadn't been looking at me, I probably would have spat it out... the next course couldn't come quickly enough.
• The loos were of the dark and dingy cool variety - a bit like the ones at Dabbous and a bit of a challenge!

But still 20 out of 24 courses ain't bad...

Our hotel (The Jefferson) was also a bit of a mixed bag... some stuff was really nice - iced tea on arrival etc - but the doormen were a joke. I have never opened the main door for myself so often in a fancy hotel! Definitely would not recommend, especially as the location is a little out of the way, although it does have a really high TripAdvisor rating. Then again, I have never posted a review on TripAdvisor so maybe that's a reflection on the taste of the people that bother to post one?! Does anyone post reviews on TripAdvisor?!

This weekend: pretending we are in The West Wing, Starbucks and a 24-course meal

Over the summer, you can fly direct to Washington DC from Bermuda so we are off to DC this weekend. As we are huge West Wing fans, we will, no doubt, spend the weekend reminiscing about letting Bartlett be Bartlett and deciding that we need to watch all seven series all the way through again. Incidentally, if anyone is missing West Wing, you should try watching Suits... it has a Josh/Donna storyline (where the girl is actually called Donna - amaze!), which was, obviously, the very best thing about West Wing anyway.

We are also going to a load of museums and we'll obviously be getting at least a daily hit of Starbucks and at least one trip to Shake Shack. I am curious to see if Bruce can order a coffee properly again now, but it is a whole month since we were in New York.

It should go without saying that Bruce has also managed to sneak a fancy and long meal into the itinerary. This time I think it might be even longer - a 24-course "Journey" at Rogue 24. After today, I'm not going to speak to Bruce about anything other than essential matters (have you fed the cats?) until the meal.

Also, we were telling Erica that we use coloured sticky dots to mark where we are going on maps - right down to green dots for conveniently located Starbucks - apparently that's weird?!

With adverts like these, why go anyplace else?

As the World Cup is being shown on a local channel in Bermuda, we have been enjoying our first viewing of a lot of Bermudian adverts. It turns out a lot of them are hilarious - we particularly like the Bermuda Air Conditioning adverts with the Men in Blue.

So this afternoon I decided to have a look at some older Bermudian adverts, and it's a lot more entertaining than watching England lose. Some of my favourite examples are for Lindos (where I do my daily shopping):

Lindos - Caught Dancing

Lindos - Superman

Lindos - Bermuda Bobsled Team

And there are loads more... but the absolute best thing is that they actually made a DVD with the Lindos adverts on and outtakes etc... DVD trailer

And if you're having a really bad day, this advert is about as ridiculous/absurd as it gets... in fact, I feel like this can't possibly have been aired on tv!

Chatterbox Café

We actually quite like this café - haven't been there on a Wednesday yet though!

House Guest Rules (or how not to really piss me off)

This week we have had our second set of house guests, who have been rather more of a challenge than our first visitors. Consequently, now seems a good time to outline what we (I) are expecting from house guests. Also, they can't really use the internet.

Basic house guest etiquette:

1. You're on holiday - we get it. But we're not - we (Bruce) can't take the whole week off.
2. I'm not your tour guide - don't expect me to take you wherever you want to go every single day.
3. This isn't a hotel - it's reasonable to offer to help with cooking, the dishes, walk with me to the supermarket, make your own cup of tea every once in a while. We'll probably decline... but it will make us feel a whole lot better that you've offered.
4. Don't constantly keep the door to "your" room and "your" bathroom shut - the cats are used to having the run of the house.
5. That's not "your" balcony either.
6. Don't shut yourself up on "your" balcony to enjoy the view, while I make your lunch/wait around for you to grace me with your presence.
7. Don't spend all of dinner commenting constantly on what the cats are doing.... yes, Daisy is sitting on the chair. Yes, she is still sitting on the chair. Yes, she does look cute.
8. Don't be weird and suggest that food we get here is all that different to what you would have back at home... fajitas are not something you should really get around to trying (surely everyone has been eating those for years and years) and making tuna and sweetcorn with mayo isn't exactly revolutionary!
9. Don't embarrass us in public places - having a strop at the bus stop or causing a scene because you wanted to press the button for the bus stop (when you didn't even know which stop we wanted) is unacceptable.
10. If we are out having coffee, don't randomly decide to go and sit at another table half way through without saying anything to us. That is just plain rude. Also, don't accuse us of being drunk - you're a lot less irritating if we've had a bit of wine. 
11. Don't tell us what we should and shouldn't pay for - we're obviously paying way more than half anyway so don't make a big deal out of the fact that you bought me a coffee (you should see my Lindos receipts!). And although I am not working (yet!), it's kind of rude to just thank Bruce when we pay for something.
12. Wear sunscreen - and don't not put ANY on for a week and then refuse to believe you have gotten sunburnt. ARE YOUR SHOULDERS USUALLY DARK RED?!

And in return:

1. We'll be more than happy to show you around this beautiful island that we have the pleasure of living on for a couple of years.
2. We won't play the game of giving you the finger when you're not looking.
3. I won't write a blog post about you.

If you can follow the above rules, you're more than welcome to come and stay for as long as you like (5 nights max).